The Creation of a Memory 

Funny how future memories hit you. You feel it being painted. And then all of a sudden it hits you. For me it’s usually starts in my stomach. Yeah every time I’m going to leave a place I love or miss a person, my stomach decides to feel it first. My stomach feels it, memory established. The alertness in my gut spreads to my head. Quickly I start to take in the scene around me. How everything looks, smells, sounds around and lastly how I feel. I’m usually in utter happiness for the first few moments. Songs are both heaven and hell during the creation of a memory. A song is heaven in the sense that you will forever think of that “now” when you revisit the memory. That song is also heaven in that it will always be the vessel that transports you back to your memory. It is bittersweet in the sense that the song will never be the same for you. It can turn a happy upbeat song into utter nostalgia. The hell in it is that the nostalgia, is permanently irreversible. And then I realize this memory I just created will bite me in the back. That could be sooner or later, not too sure when. But when it does come back, it will thrive on catching me at unexpected moments. It is worst when memories hit you in your most alert hours. The hours that lie between 1 to 4 am. And that’s because you are most likely up because you can’t escape a certain kind of sadness. The memory will bring happiness, like a temporary high. The deeper you revisit it, the more it hits and the more it drives you into sadness. But even those nights do turn into mornings. 

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